Perspective, Paradigm, Choice, and Results

Below is about 40 minutes of video and some very limited reading, including my perspective, if interested.   

*Efficiency Tip:  Not necessary to watch these so listening with a headset while you are exercising or traveling to and from work can knock two birds out with one stone. What matters is that you do your best to be focussed on what is being said.  I also suggest you write down anything that sticks out to you and bring that with you for reference provided you want to contribute to the discussion with everyone. 




I am where I am due to the millions of small choices I’ve made up until this point relative my state of mind (emotions) my ability to see the "big picture" and my ability to focus on what matters and make good decisions. I am a culmination of how I handled tiny incremental choices that were made in reaction to stimuli of which there are two primary types.

1. External force albeit a comment, accident, e-mail, asshole, a book etc..
2. Internal perspective that is tied to wisdom rooted in personal philosophy.

My ability to reactively and proactively make good choices has everything to do with my inner sense of fulfillment and meaning from this moment through this day and forevermore.  This is what matters as I relate to all people, situations, challenges, opportunity, perceived success and material things in the external world.

Wisdom has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with time / life and how conscious someone is moving through it. Wisdom is the sum of knowledge plus experience and as Dr. Joe Dispenza says, wisdom is the ability to remove emotion from whatever it is that is occurring around or to you. 

So what drives me is figuring how to get better at managing “the space” that Viktor Frankl references in Man’s Search For Meaning and make better choices.

If IT is to BE, IT is up to ME.  It starts by looking in the proverbial mirror.  What I see or more importantly how I feel is relative to width and clarity of my lens. From my perspective, this is the primary function of the Table and the essence of why it matters. How can we broaden and clarify what we see and how we see it? 

My Paradigm is to understand that true freedom in growth lies in our ability to choose our attitude, decisions or actions.  We also know we have prehistoric part of our brain that influences how we handle that choice.  That influence can be positive in physically dangerous situations, but can also keep us wallowing in a sense of perceived worry, fear or comfort. We also have a past story or programming from others that influence our perspective.  Good or bad, like it or not. If you are not conscious of this and willing to create a new story and better programming, life won't change. 

Our paradigm, “our map” of how we see the world is what allows use to mitigate and make use of the lizard brain while navigating all the incremental choices we make each day. People who are “highly effective” have a refined and accurate paradigm. It is not potential, genetics,the environment, family or “the man” holding you back. Understanding paradigms and how they apply to all of us individually is critical and very empowering and necessary in making progress and start reaching intended destinations.

We can choose our attitude and behavior, but without a clear vision of where we want to go or who we want to be and accurate map in our mind to get there, it does us no good. Change and growth is not about positive affirmations, chants in the mirror, motivational speeches or reading THAT ONE BOOK  "that will change your life."  It is about understanding the brain and how  thoughts and feelings control it. It is about being able to program what everyone understands to be "the most powerful computer in the world."  It's about learning how to code.



3 Ounces of Perspective Is Worth……?



Our excuses are lame….If this doesn’t change your perspective then what will?   seriously….. 


Kyle Maynard from Suwanee, GA  Learn More>

The Happiness Advantage

Harvard psych professor, Shawn Achor, teaches about happiness, human potential and productivity. I thought it would be perfect to help explain why The Table might be a good idea as well as the  25/75 ratio you hear us talk about.  



The late Steven Covey explaining what a paradigm is and how it relates to life, growth and happiness.

Steven Covey

What Is Your Map?   



Viktor Frankl- Neurologist and pychiatrist, founder of logo therapy, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search For Meaning.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” 

Stop expecting from life and understand that meaning is found in fulfilling what life expects from you. Serve others in their pursuit of love and happiness.  Success and happiness is to be ensued and nor pursued. If you make this your target you are doomed to never hit the target you aim for.



The late Jim Rohn is my favorite business / life philosopher of all time. I was first exposed to him when I was 24 and his perspective has proven to be profound and timeless.  Listen carefully to what he is saying.  If you are not happy with the results in your life, you need to start with your personal Philosophy.  Something I go back to every day. Try to ignore his soothingly annoying voice and the fantastic looking 1980′s audience. Love this old codger! 

Jim Rohn

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." -Albert Einstein

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi


Life Cognition: a martial art, juggling balls, managing planes

We’ve spent that last weeks talking about perspective, personal paradigm, adversity, EI, vision, goals, energy and wealth.  It is empowering to have a wider and more clear lens (perspective) but it can also be a blessing and a curse…. Ignorance can bring bliss. Awareness can bring stress.

As David Allen says in the video below, perspective is a slippery and also  valuable commodity.

How do we handle and embrace LIFE as it is coming at us? In a vacuum it is easy to execute but LIFE doesn’t work that way especially if you have commitments you want to uphold albeit to your partner, job, family, friends, community and most importantly to yourself.

Adopting a system or tools for maintaining perspective is key as that affects our attitude which then affects our choices, results and altitude. Altitude meaning how well can you see the big picture and what is really going on. As all the stimuli of LIFE are coming at you, you want to be able to make intuitive choices on what is best to do or say next.

If you are in the “weeds” of life it is easy to make bad choices, moment to moment and day after day after day. Worrying does nothing to help, it only keeps us mentally paralyzed and damages our physical well being.

You are where you are today due to the millions of incremental choices you have made up this point in your life. The choices you make right now and beyond matter. You chose to read this. You chose to take in the content below. You chose to attend The Table. You choose to carve time for yourself and work on your vision, mind, body or spirit. You will make choices that either uphold or fail on commitments you’ve made to yourself or others.  This is how the emotional gas tank is filled or emptied.  I am typically in the worst state of mind when I let myself and others down. If I said I would do something and I didn’t or procrastinated or made excuses, my self-talk is not good.  

Integrity is doing what you said you would do via internal or external conversations and whether anyone is watching or not. Integrity is like putting a magnet near a compass. It will either repel or attract the needle into a certain direction.  You and the people around you represent the needle. You may say you are going North, but if the needle is pointing you and others South, not good.

If you believe your value to the marketplace, NOT HUMANITY, but to the world of business is tied to the value you bring then embracing the idea of Life Cognition is critical.  How can you help solve more complex problems, remove barriers, connect dots, influence others as fulfill their needs and wants?Just like most opportunities, problems don’t come in a little box or a button the wall. They come via people. We are in the people business that is filled with the need to execute short term and long term commitments. A great server, expo or cook has a cognition system to help navigate the weeds during a busy shift.  How does that transfer to LIFE? 

What if you have a system you could trust? The key is that you have a system that works for you. If it doesn't, you simply won't work it.

It is not about “time management”.  

It is about the martial art of work and life. 

It is about reacting or taking action in a certain way. 

It is about mind like water.


How do you juggle the balls you have and take on more without adding stress?  Small balls, big balls, chain saws, kittens and knives.  How do you manage all the planes that need to land or take off?  747s to a Cessna…   

How do you keep the emotional gas tank filled so you can embrace your own adversity, maintain resilience and be formidable on your path to helping others? Staying out of the weeds of LIFE is essential to this. 





Learn to ride with the winds of change and currents of life or keep paddling against them.  It is not easy. It takes work. It is a choice. 

Read This Summary:

Getting Things Done by David Allen

If you want to dive deeper…..

My Secret Weapon>   let me know if you want me to show you how I use this system. 

Nerd Fitness: Great Resource

Five Articles On Productivity



Emotional Intelligence

Our ability to achieve balance, fulfillment and meaning individually, as a team or organization has so much to do with our Emotional Intelligence (EQ) than anything else.  We can dive into health, wealth, cognition, leadership etc but if we are feeling emotionally poor or bankrupt, our ability to absorb and most importantly apply what we are learning is damn near impossible. 

What we were taught in school about what intelligence is was very  NARROW AND MISGUIDED. Cognitive Intelligence (IQ) was important to succeed in our school system, but it is fact that WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE IN THOSE WHO ARE TOP PERFORMERS IN THEIR FIELD IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE NOT COGNITIVE.  IT IS NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH DATA OR KNOWLEDGE WE HAVE MEMORIZED and is one of reasons we often read stories of  the A students ending up working for the C students.   RESEARCH HAS PROVEN THAT THOSE WHO ACHIEVE HIGH LEVELS OF SUCCESS DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE HIGH LEVELS OF SELF ESTEEM BUT HIGH LEVEL OF SELF-COMPASSION which COMES FROM EMOTIONAL MATURITY. 



LIFE COGNITION ("juggling all the balls") COMES DOWN TO higher Self Awareness which allows BETTER Self Management,  MORE MOMENTS OF SELF-MASTERY, HIGHER PRODUCTIVITY AND SUCCESS.  



“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ""Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment."― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

What if everyone was provided the perspective, environment and coaching to start navigating "the space" better, make better choices and simply feel better more often? What if we made this idea of EQ or navigating the "the space" as important as the integrity of our food and drink?  What could happen?  It starts with YOU.

-Ryan Turner  5/6/13


Below are short videos to bring more context to this subject.  It ranges from Arrested Development to Waterboy. 

The first is Chip Conley, who is someone I've studied extensively as his philosophy of life and business resonate with me deeply.  He wrote the book Emotional Equations.  Some of you may remember I referenced one of his equations last week.  

Happiness = wanting what you have divided by having what you want.     

Translated: if you are not grateful for what and who you currently have, you will never find happiness. 

Read and watch anything you can by Chip. Watch this short clip by Chip to start. 

Importance of EQ over IQ: 

If at the root of what we do and say (good & bad) is driven by our emotions or how we feel, then in order to make changes in our behavior, it make sense to understand how that works and why?   



The Amygdala: The amygdala is a structure in the limbic system that is linked to emotions and aggression. The amygdala functions to control fear responses, the secretion of hormones, arousal and the formation of emotional memories.

Amygdala Hijack Demonstrated By Adam Sandler

The Amygdala Explained In 5 Minutes

The Amygdala and Unconscious Memories



Daniel Goleman: Speaking about Emotional Intelligence at Google HQ in 2007.  HERE IS THE FULL MONTY explanation of EI.  55 minutes



WTF Should I Do With My Life?

WTF Should I Do With My Life? The Power of Creating a Clear and Compelling Vision for The Future. 

Bottom Line: If you do not have a clear and compelling vision of your future, you will either remain anchored in the regret of the past or stuck in the routine of the present and at the mercy of other people or environmental factors.  It will be near impossible to progress. If you do not feel like you are progressing, you will not find genuine fulfillment. The absence of fulfillment will disallow you to realize the deep meaning that comes from contributing to the benefit of others. 

Less “fluffy” emotional example:  Everything created (tangible or intangible) by a human started with the seed of thought, imagination and vision. A song, a masterpiece, an appetizer, house, business, bridge, iPhone etc….  Some of these are executed on vision alone and some things need a blueprint, which is essentially a plan of steps to create the vision.

Make understanding the power of the vision process your pursuit. It will help you battle daily anxious feelings of uncertainty, overwhelm and pressure from family and society. It will help guide you decisions and choices today. It will pull you out of emotional weeds and amidst uncertainty and all you to sustain instant gratification deprivation.  It will provide you the energy to apply discipline and sacrifice when it is YOU leading YOU and no one else is watching. 

What separates us from all other species is the ability to hold up the mirror and recognize we can be the cause and it all comes down to a choice to create the casue and effects you want to experience in life..

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. – Viktor Frankl 

Most people think about the “stimulus” as a negative thing that happens or is said to them. Clearly defined intended outcomes and compelling vision are also a stimulus. Finding ways to proactively give yourself a positive stimulus is an effective way to mitigate the lizard brain and manage ourselves with the thousands of choices we encounter every day. Without this clarity on the future, the present path (sense of progress) gets foggy and you might as well set the magnet of regret or complacency on your internal compass.


It has been studied and it is fact that creating a positive vision for the future is not natural for humans. It is not our default setting. Lizard brain doesn't see beyond immediate threats. BUT… it is also proven that we are all capable in doing this with commitment, persistence and patience. We did it all of the time as children. As with most inherently good and long lasting changes, they never come quick nor easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.  

That is not a barrier.  It is your opportunity to differentiate from the masses. 

-Ryan Turner 


Quotes on Vision


"Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision."
   -Author Unknown

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"  -Bob Marley

"It is a terrible thing to be able to see but have no vision." -Helen Keller 

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others." - Jonathan Swift


"In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision." - Dalai Lama  


"Big hitter…the Lama. Long." -Carl Spakler 


Secret to Sub-Concious Mind Control - low quality video but a profoundly high quality visual lesson on this topic. 

Why Is It So Hard To Change?

Dr. Joe Dispenza
Watch and listen to this over and over. If this resonates with you, read his latest book. 

TONY ROBBINS - short and powerful video on the power or vision and focus.


How Do I Create a Personal Vision Statement?>

If you want to see mine as a reference, shoot me a note explaining to me why and I will send it to you.  Send me your personal vision and I will help you craft yours.  

WTF Should I Do With My Life? Where Do I Start?  I need some ideas or inspiration.

Start Here>

Go through the all the options linked above and let me know which MP3 or transcript you want from these interviews. I will send it to you. 


EXTRA STUFF if you want to dive deeper. 

Watch these three segments from Jim Rohn on Setting Goals 

Jim Rohn is right next to Seth Godin as it relates to influence on me over the last sixteen years.  The 26 minutes of video here could be and should be watched often. The message is timeless and the profound nature of what he is explaining will only unfold when you choose to no longer be a spectator and get on the field.

PERFORMANCE - We are where we are today do to the millions of daily choices we have made. These small choices will also dictate our future and added up over time produce geometric results, positive or negative. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Without a clear vision of what you desire and what you will regret, it will be easy for complacency and distractions to creep in. A system to maintain discipline is key.

PRODUCTION-RESULTS - One must have a clear and compelling vision of future results in order for the cycle to spin in a positive manner. There has to be certainty that one believes in their ability to maximize their potential in order to improve and guide their daily choices and experience better results. What does success look like to you? Why? Who?What? Where? Get clear on this and the How is way more likely to happen.



Productivity & Project Management

From my experience in setting goals, coming up with ideas, initiatives and multi-step tasks there seems to be two primary causes for why they rarely ever or never get completed, especially if they are self-directed.

1. Emotional Intelligence- Are you able to manage “the space” well enough to apply discipline, make sacrifices and delay gratification? Can you see the promise of completing the project as more compelling than the comfort of the status quo.  Are you not allowing past experiences or limiting beliefs to anchor you into stagnancy? Can you manage your emotions around all the environmental influences affecting you each day? Do you have a compelling vision for the future that will pull you through all challenges and free you from the anchors of regret tied to your past?

2. Project Management- Are you like me and become sold cognitively and emotionally on the power of setting a list of goals or tasks that need to get done?  I become victim to what happens after the positive emotions of directing my future being overcome by the daily grind.  I can allow myself to feel defeated. I look at that list and it repels me.  It becomes a reminder of what I told and sold myself on and have done nothing with. Pillow talk can be brutal when you let yourself down. Eventually I stop looking at the list. I carry around and update this list of well-intentioned projects that never get completed. Looks good on paper and sounds good in theory, but when measured by results I am not succeeding. Why?

Recent Epiphany-Recently it became apparent to me that I was in this negative loop and something had to change. To clarify, I had to change if I wanted to see change in results. I was not achieving the results I wanted and was reminded to look at my philosophy of project management. It took about 3 seconds. I had none and it occurred to me that I was probably not the first person to be trying to figure this out.  My mind became open and within days I “coincidentally” received an email from The David Allen Company promoting a CD on Project Management Using the GTD System at a discount.  All of sudden what may have been viewed as SPAM a week earlier became a must have GEM. Perception is everything.

After I started listening it became apparent to me why I was stuck in the weeds emotionally and not progressing no matter how impressive my list was. Once again I realized how ignorant I really am but felt fortunate to have learned this at this stage in life. Maybe now I am ready.  I did not have a process in which I could clarify and be reminded of the intended outcomes in all aspects of my life? I also had this long list staring me down instead of putting all projects in a trusted place and having the most important few capturing my focus. Further more, I had not clarified which bite is first, second, third, fourth etc…. when I decided to eat the proverbial elephant?

Once again, obvious and simple steps that needed to be pointed out. Profound.  The rub comes in the discipline in committing to the process and managing myself in a way that prioritizes project management.

This is what at this time I perceive to be the final frontier of managing / leading myself.  It is one thing to lay out a compelling vision for the future but to identify the action steps to complete the vision is where the magic lives.  Without discipline, energy and effort progression will be halted, patience will run thin and the weeds will set in. Anxiety, fear, worry, guilt, depression and on and on. Love and or Fear is what drives us all.

A major cause of unhappiness, anxiety or even depression is when someone views themselves in a better place then where they are and they don’t feel like they are moving in that direction.  The proverbial wheels spinning the mud of your perceived potential can be avoided by getting clear on what traction really is. Small tiny and daily choices /actions compounded over time can produce geometric results. This applies to life as much as money. The other major cause of unhappiness is lack of gratitude for what one has in their current life. Maintaining the wealth mentality is also critical and can help manage the fear of failure and equally as potent fear of success.

You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction. You still need to take the steps to get there. GPS can tell you how to get somewhere but you still need to drive. You can’t wish your way anywhere. You need to work hard at it and you’ll be amazed how the universe and the people around you respond and assist in ways you never thought possible.

Master Project Management in order to effectively Do the Work that will help you Feel Progression and Cause You to Contribute to others in MEANINGful way.  This is what “they” are referring to when “they” say, “Its about the journey, not the destination.”







Learning Quotient

Learning How to Figure It All Out: Using Adversity As An Asset. 

The desire to use adversity as a resource to persevere is one of the ultimate intangibles for those who find daily fulfillment and meaning. We were taught in school to always avoid making mistakes and ironically it is an essential part of learning and improving in all aspects of life.  Ignorance can be viewed as adversity but your awareness of this can quickly turn that adversity into an asset.  Being able to look adversity in the eye and commit to control what you can is a major component to realizing success in whatever your endeavor. 

Learn to seek it, embrace it, love it, own it, grow and prosper from it.   

Three Universal Laws that I USE to reference in order to NOT be USED by adversity.  
1."If it were easy, everyone would do it." 

2. "Nothing inherently good or long lasting comes quick or easy."  

3. "On the other side of every challenge is an equal or greater seed of opportunity." 

re·source·ful/riˈsôrsfəl/: Having the ability to find clever ways to overcome difficulties.

If you are seeking answers to your problems, questions, challenges, dis - ease, or any barriers you perceive to be in your way, I have good news. The answers are available.  Try the library if you want to go old school or the internet if you want to learn at your fingertips.  If you are waiting for answers or hoping to be spoon fed by others, stop.  Don't be a victim. Ask for help, it is a sign of strength not weakness.  Seek out the wisdom of others.  

Just ask these two questions all of the time: 

"Am I the only one who has ever faced this challenge of _______________?" 

"Is it possible someone else has and shared the answer or solution?"

As you may recall, true power is navigating "that space" between stimulus and response. That is where true growth and freedom exist according to Viktor Frankl. Knowledge is not the power. It is the self-awareness and perspective that filters the knowledge to create the fuel necessary to take the appropriate action that will lead to overcoming challenges, achieving progress and contributing to the well-being of others.

Being resourceful in "the space" really is the ultimate intangible.    

Figure it out.  

Tony Robbins (1:34)  The number one asset available to every human 

Seth Godin

30 second read on adversity and the route to success

Maya Angelou (2:52) on Resilience and Adversity "And Still I Rise"

Go back to past experiences in adversity and failure and examen all the seeds of opportunity that came to fruition from that.

Be Resourceful. You don't need school to learn how to learn. 

What Are Schools For? Is or Was School Not Your "Thing"? This may be liberating.

Ben Dunlap (19:09) -Be a lifelong learner.  GREAT TED TALK!!

List of resources I use to absorb knowledge, apply into my life and gain wisdom. - type in whatever the barrier. the world's encyclopedia. amazing resource to listen while in your car, walking, cleaning the house or whatever menial task that still allows you to have bandwith to learn. another great listening resource. endless resource of rich perspective from all walks of life. - summaries in reading or video format on the best personal development books ever written. thousands of book summaries on best business books ever written. incredible bits of perspective every day. consider by many as one of the top resources for business leaders.

kindle- download books. or you'll be amazed as to what is on this site to learn. this site will blow you away. If you are still in school or know if anyone still in school, show them this site. From K through MBA. Amazing resource that is changing education throughout the world. - an abundance of information, articles, charts and templates that assist in areas of the restaurant business. 





Physical Intelligence

 The physical quotient is all about how to positively effect the level of energy you have.  It is foundational element to living a balanced life. From consumption, exercise and sleep. Without energy I have very little initiative nor ambition. I become complacent, lazy and at times apathetic. Not good to be that way more days than not while in the pursuit of progress and contribution. Understanding why this matters is critical. Making more informed choices in the sea of temptation is based in educating yourself and being sold on the long term benefits of preventative maintenance. 

There are a thousand different paths to achieving higher levels of energy and fitness. There is a ton of bad information and advice that is driven by ulterior motives. I recommend you research on your own, seek counsel from those having success and try what works for you as it relates to nutrition and exercise. As it relates to sleep, that is self-evident to a certain degree.  Go to bed earlier. Achieving better sleep is obtainable and there are books written on it.

Your emotions and thoughts are also critical to understand and control as it relates to your energy levels.  Anger, frustration, fear, worry, greed, guilt and jealousy will tap you dry as well as the people around you. What you receive back from these people often times is more negative energy.  The opposite emotions will provide you with fuel, be a resources for others.  

Bottom line is the same as everything else. It comes down to being aware that having high energy matters, seeking different perspectives, developing your own paradigm and using that while making daily choices.

If you are sold on the long term benefits you will be more likely to make the behavior change and apply the discipline, sacrifice and patience needed to execute.  Or… stay stuck in the mud, constantly tired and unmotivated. 

You can have most compelling and glorious vision in the world driven by intense initiative and ambition, but without the energy to match, it will matter not.  It will cause your wheels to spin and that is when the emotional weeds can really take over. 

Are you sold on the benefits of having Physical Intelligence? 

If not, why? 

Answer these questions for yourself before researching the path you want to travel. 

 “discipline weighs ounces while regret weights tons.”- unknown

Ryan Turner 7/17/13

Your Most Powerful Asset Is Not Time, It Is Energy.

The Power of Full Engagement- (10 minute read)

Leadership Requires High
Physical Intelligence Quotient  (1 Minute Read)

Estimate How Long You Will Live 
Vitality Compass: the most accurate life estimator.

  • Biological Age
  • Overall Life Expectancy
  • Healthy Life Expectancy
  • Years you're gaining/losing because of your health


up to 12 recommendations to help you live longer.

Want To Live to Be 100? This guys studies those who do and how.


If you liked his first TED Talk, watch this:



Wealth Intelligence

"Do not value money for anymore nor any less than it's worth; it is a good servant but a bad master."
      - Alexandre Dumas

"Abundance is not something you create. It is an existing reality you recognize."  - Alan Cohen

Wealth is not about money. It is not about what we see through the lens of Hollywood or "Mad Men."  Ironically, those who strictly tie the notion of wealth to the financial definition never truly achieve it. Without a true sense of what wealth really is, you will be on an elusive chase and never find fulfillment, meaning and happiness. Wealth is a state of mind. It is appreciating what you already have and not focussing on and worrying about what you don't. Reality is most of the wealthiest people on the planet earn very little money and have very few material possessions.  Why are they so happy? 

There are seven different levels of wealth to consider and focus in life. 

Physical / Health- energy and vitality makes it all possible.

Emotional- how you feel about life and it's meaning.  Money will not bring joy or happiness. It only magnifies what lurks below. Feel gratitude, abundance and love more than jealousy, scarcity and hate. 

Relationships- who do you love? Who loves you? Do you love yourself?  Are you always giving or taking from others? Give selflessly without a desire for reciprocity and watch what happens. 

Time - One of the greatest resources we have. If you are doing something you enjoy it goes by quickly . When you are not, it comes to a crawl.  Making a lot of money but having no time to enjoy the freedom it can provide is not wealth. 

Work / Career / Mission- Doing something you'd rather not be doing is work. Doing something you love whether you were paid or not is a path to wealth. 

Financial- Understand the difference between Security, Indepedence and Freedom is essential but not more essential than understanding the greater importance of Health, Emotions, Relationships and Time. 

Contribution- The ultimate state of feeling wealthy is the ability to give and to bring value to others which creates meaning in your life. 

My perspective of money is anchored with some deep scars. At age 26 I was financially, emotionally and physically bankrupt. The impact from my lack of understanding of wealth versus money took a major toll on me. I was bed ridden with what the doctors called chronic fatigue and simply couldn’t function. Every time the phone rang, I just knew it was collection agency calling for money I did not have. I could not function, let alone think about wealth. 

I didn’t grow up in a poor household, it was "middle class" but I was certainly exposed more to a scarcity mentality than an abundance mentality. I grew up in a mill town in Maine and was told thousands of times that "money doesn't grow on trees". I was unfortunately never really taught where it did grow except in a savings account. I went along as do most kids and told to get good grades, get a “good job” with a “good salary” and don’t worry about it. Hmmm… What did investing or compound interest mean? Dollar cost averaging? How did credit cards work? How do I start my own business? I don’t blame anyone for my ignorance.  It seems that either adults don’t truly understand money or they think it is taboo to talk about with others. It is not really taught in high school and maybe in college if finance is your degree.  This is the norm in our country which is ironic as we are considered the “wealthiest” country in the world. Really?  By what measure?

In my opinion, the financial collapse of our country in 2008 can be tied to predatory lenders having clearance to shoot fish in a barrel and it didn't just happen overnight. The sheer amount of financially illiterate people, including myself, granted credit the previous twenty years leading up to it was mind blowing. Whether it was a credit card or a mortgage, credit was being handed out like candy and well-intentioned folks who believed that happiness and significance came in the form of buying material things. House, car, TV, shoes, excessive dining etc….

I was there hook, line, sinker and full of buckshot. I intellectually understood the concept of spend less than you make, but I was buying things short term on the promise of a future that ultimately lead me to a really bad place.  I was emotionally immature, financially ignorant and sold on the wrong plan. I was sold on the “American Dream” of instantaneous gratification while “keeping up with the Joneses” and woke up one day to realize I was duped. I wasn’t mad at money. I was simply bad at money. That was rooted in my personal perspective and philosophy which led to my attitude, which led to my choices, ability to apply discipline, sacrifice and patience. Really bad results.

Now I realize that money is only a number and a byproduct of what lurks below and the life you lead. It is how you perceive it that matters. It doesn’t matter how much you have or don’t have. Like alcohol, money is an equal opportunity magnifying glass. Assholes become bigger assholes with more money. Emotionally Immature and Wealth Ignorant people, like me, make really bad choices and decisions with more money, albeit inheriting it or accessing it via credit.

If you don’t perceive money to be a byproduct of you and the value you bring to the marketplace (people) it will either dissipate or never accumulate.

It is who you are and ultimately become that attracts money and sustains a state of true wealth. You may win the lottery via a ticket or in business, but can you sustain the wealth if you don’t understand how life works but also how money works?

If TODAY you are on a path of gratitude and growth seeking fulfillment and a sense of contribution which is true wealth, it will only be magnified by money.

Are you are focussed on money or ways to learn, improve, grow and bring value to other humans?

I hit rock bottom in many ways and I am glad I did. Luckily I choose not to be a victim and decided to buy into a different plan with a high level of tenacity. I was and still am driven to understand what makes wealthy people tick in every sense of the definition. I know it is not luck and I am committed to creating a plan that works. 

I hope the following sources of perspective and philosophy will help you dig out of the hole as they did me. I hope you are able to avoid what I had to go through.  You are not destined to live in a scarcity mentality and be poor emotionally nor financially. It is not a zero sum game and it is a choice. Create it. Attract it. Be that what you want to see in others and give more of what it is you want. Love, appreciation, recognition, friendship, money etc..  You will attract what you focus on.  Control that. Enjoy the process. Be patient.

Ryan Turner 7/30/13

35 Second Read:


2 Minute Read 

Thinking About Money - Seth Godin

10 Minute Read

Rich-Dad-Poor-Dad - Kiyosaki


Cashflow Quadrant (This had a profound affect on me. I will walk you through it if you want to understand how this may relate to you)

According to Kiyosaki:

“You must know the difference between an asset and a liability, and buy assets. Rich people acquire assets. Poor and middle class acquire liabilities, but they think they are assets. An asset is something that puts money in my pocket. A liability is something that takes money out of my pocket. If you want to be rich, simply spend your life buying assets. If you want to be poor or middle class, spend your life buying liabilities. It’s not knowing the difference that causes most of the financial struggle in the real world.”

Who Am I Listening Too Right Now? 

Click Here>

Watch or listen to the video and listen to the sequential audios below it. 

Additonal Perspectives on Money and Wealth

(5 page summaries) 



The Rules of Money

Rich Like Them

Helpful Resources to Help Manage Money

If you think you need to be be making more money in order to worry about managing it better, YOU ARE WRONG.  It is not about what you make, it is about what you keep and then what you do with the difference. Start now.
This is a powerful and free tool for you to start managing your money better today. Many people think that budgeting is for those who have money. It is a practice used by those who have real money. If you don’t begin the practice NOW with what you have, you will never have real money. If you can’t manage $1,500 per month, what makes you think you can manage $3,000 or $15,000?





The Secret Sauce

I heard an enlightening story about what truly made Microsoft one of the biggest most powerful companies in the world.   Bill Gates did not develop the software that ultimately started to be embedded in every computer being mass produced by IBM. He bought the operating system from another developer and went to IBM with it. They tried to buy it from him and he convinced them to focus on their core competency (at the time) and rent the software from him as his core competency. He saw a future that was not apparent to IBM as billions of dollars were rolling in.  Gates believed that computers would soon be a commodity and that they would be produced more and more cheaply as more players got into the game. Bill Gates understood that what mattered for longevity and true control of his business destiny was controlling the intelligence of the commodity, the PC.  That key distinction is what made all the difference as IBM, once the most powerful business in the world, almost went out of business within the decade of their initial deal with Microsoft. 

I am certain I have some implied facts wrong in the above, but the point of the story still stands.  

The question to ask is how does this relate to us?   

Restaurants are similar to the commodity market in that they are a dime a dozen.  There are 616,008 restaurants in our country and the number keeps rising year after year and mostly driven by the QSR sector.  The drive for fast, convenient, cheap and volume revenue has created a massive competition on price and location. If you land from Mars as stranger to our world, what really is the difference between McDonald's and Burger King?  This drive for growth and factorization of food as led to a ton of unintended consequences, most significantly on the health of our nation. The hospitality business employs more people than any other industry except the U.S. Government.  

Our niche of the restaurant industry is different. People come to us, of course, to get fed, but not just their stomachs. For many, it is their mind, body, heart and soul. We are in the business of human connection. Our core competency is understanding the human intelligence that ultimately controls the destiny of any restaurant. With all things being equal regarding great food, drink, location, price etc…this is what differentiates us from the competition. Whether we choose to sell hot dogs or haute cuisine, we understand the software (operating system) that our customers seek to experience when choosing a place to dine.  What is more is our guests don't even consciously realize that how we are connecting with them is much deeper than the delicious products we serve.

Lets try to simplify this and say that every business we ever launch will intend to sell the same "human soup" to every person who comes in contact with us albeit working or dining with us.  Understanding the six primary ingredients of this soup could be the most important thing you'll ever learn about business. 

Watch this Ted Talk by Tony Robbins. I stumbled upon this in 2009 as we were realizing gains in our revenue in profit while other restaurants were struggling and going out of business. He introduces these six primary ingredients (values) that are essential in all humans. It completely affirmed and validated that our approach to business was succeeding for specific reasons unbeknownst to us, but now self-evident and deliberate.  This is one of the most popular Ted Talks ever watched by millions. I will then related this more specifically on who it applies to our business and lives. 

How Do These Six Huamn Needs Relate To Us?  

Certainty / How This Relates 

Those who know us, trust us. They are certain that our intentions are pure from how we source, cook, our sanitation and how we treat people. Everyone who comes in touch with us needs to be certain that we give a shit. 

How does someone on staff engage in their job, if they are not certain about getting paid or fear the unknown? What if they are not certain we really care about them? What if they are not certain about the future our our business. Achieving certainty is not inherently positive. It depend on what people are certain about and how much that matters to them.  An accountant and a sky diver probably see the world differently.  It is understanding who your audience is and finding ways to achieve certainty in ways that is important to them. 

Uncertainty / How This Relates 

Too much of the same thing over and over may bring certainty but to us brings boredom and lack of freedom.  We keep

some items the same, but change the menu constantly for reason. The certainty of our guests trusting us  frees them up to explore and discover new and different food or drink. This sense of discovery naturally engages our staff who love to learn, create and share exciting new dishes or elixirs with our guests. Our staff is not only sold on the product but our process from sourcing to preparation and execution. It is EASY to sell something you are sold on yourself. People easily sense the difference between a server with passion or not. A guide is not needed to explore when you know the territory.  We have the ability to make our guests feel like tourists being taken advantage of or a welcomed visitor into the village who can enjoy uncertainty with comfort and be inspired. 

Significance / How This Relates

Does our staff feel like they matter and we value them?  Does this come from a grand mission statement or stated values? No. It is more granular and simply comes down to how people are being treated, every shift of every day. But a a simple example of deliberate policy in support of this is not mandating our servers wear a standard uniform? We ask them within reason to represent who they are.  When someone feels respected for who they are, they are empowered to more genuinely care and connect with others. An empowered and caring person does not need a uniform for someone to sense they are of service. Heavy amounts of recognition and appreciation are in the mother sauce. Our culture is built on treating people a certain way and it starts with our team and it naturally transfers into guest experience. Our guests can sense it as our family makes them feel like they matter to us no matter who they are or what they look like, spend etc…    

Love & Connection / How This Relates

Within our version of a food, drink and hospitality, we create a hub for people of all walks of life to connect inside the “trojan horse”, our restaurant. Just in Muss & Turner’s there are countless relationships that have been born amongst people who would have never met. The “Cheers” dynamic is real. And it is built around the way we do what we do and how we make people feel. One woman has dined with us well over 1,200 times during the last 6 years. She mostly comes in by herself, but never dines alone. The food is really good, but not that good. There is a sense of family to her that is priceless. There is a high level of ownership and loyalty that our guests feel about our restaurants.  Anyone in connection with our restaurants feeling like they are part of something extraordinary and bigger than themselves is a powerful ingredient in this mix.  That sense of family in our restaurants comes through our actions and not carefully crafted words in a policy and procedures manual. 

Growth / How This Relates

Guests can learn a lot about food and drink by asking questions every time they dine with us. The element of discovery, exploration and progression around the pleasure of delicious food and drink is potent. Our staff is constantly being challenged to learn and progress personally and professionally. This ingredient is the most important as it relates to us attracting and keeping people with ambition and purpose in the organization.  People want to feel like they are progressing. The sensation of the proverbial wheels spinning in mud especially when you have a better tomorrow in your sights can be mentally and emotionally debilitating.  A sense of living up to one's potential and productivity brings fulfillment which is powerful in sustaining the discipline, sacrifice and patience it takes to genuinely grow.  Our challenge is to fill that need or we will see people leave to join or become our competition.

Contribution / How This Relates

When a guest shares their connection with our restaurants with someone new, sends an article of interest, brings a unique bottle of beer to share with the staff, sends a note saying we didn't hit expectations or even joins our advisory board, there is a sense of giving back that has deep meaning. What drives us as an organization is to be in a constant state of contribution with our staff, guests, family and community at large.  Finding ways to serve the needs of others brings people deep meaning and that is one of the reasons why our business can be so fulfilling.  A senior server finds meaning in helping an excited guest find the right entree or a leading well-intentioned but inexperienced rookie down the right path.  A whole restaurant community will find meaning in helping one person in crisis. To serve others is why we are on the planet and we are so fortunate to be in a business that inherently embraces that. 

Our revenue, growth, profits and longevity are a by-product of our ability to fill these human needs. People don’t want just a paycheck, transactional dining, new concepts or revolutionary new version of a hamburger. They want to feel a certain way. 

This is the secret sauce. 

How does this related to leading self? 

The best way to understand how to be aware of and positively affect the needs of others is be be aware of your own emotions.  What brings you certainty, uncertainty, significance, growth and contribution.  Think about it proactively and instead of reacting to everything and everyone coming at you in life, be reflective. This about where they are coming from when they say or do something or why you are reacting negatively.  When you start to understand these needs and how to influence them in yourself then you have the capability to program the software of others.  It is like an artist using the primary colors or chef understanding which ingredients work well together.  It is part science and but mostly art with a tremendous reliance on nuance and intuition.  Nonetheless, as with most talents, it is not genetic and once you understand the fundamentals you can become great at this skill, but not without practice. 

Seven Beliefs Guiding You Towards Your Target Needs- Tony Robbins

The 7 beliefs that Tony Robbins mentions towards the end of the Ted Talk.  In line with what Steven Covey was saying, these are beliefs that can create a paradigm for a lifetime. 

Belief 1–Everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Even if something doesnt turn out how you wanted,take that as a learning experience and imagine the possibilities of improvement. What did you learn? How can i improve this situation?

Belief 2–There is no such thing as failure,only results. Never look at a result that you did not want as a failure, look at it as a learning experience.

Belief 3–Whatever happens,take responsibility. Great leaders andsuccesful people all believe that they create their own world. Remember the phrase “I am responsible, I will take care of it!”

Belief 4–It is not neccesary to understand everything to use it. If other people have done something or you have tried it and it worked, then go out and do that. Do not spend tons of time analyzing everything, do it and then if you want to go back and study how itworks, thats fine. Like Nike says “Just Do It”

Belief 5-People are our greatest resource. Take advantage of information that people are sharing. Learn from others who aresuccesfull. If someone is offering free information through word of mouth, or newsletters, or seminars, take the information and learn from it.

Belief 6--Work is play. Do you know any succesful person whoabsolutely hates what he does? I dont think so. Enjoy life,Enjoy your business. Mark Twain once said ”the secret to success is making your vocation your vacation” Thats what succesful people do.

Belief 7--There is no abiding success without commitment. Individuals who succeed have a belief in the power of commitment. Use the term W.I.T.- Whatever it takes.